Do you tell yourself you "should" be doing one thing when you're doing another?

Or that you should or shouldn't FEEL a certain way or BE a certain way?

"I should be less lazy"

"I should be further along in my personal growth journey"

"I should have gotten more done"

"I should be working more"

"I should be spending more time with the kids"

"I should be more productive"

"I shouldn't rock the boat"

"I should be patient"

"I should be skinny"

"I shouldn't be sad"

"I should eat better"

"I…

About 12 years ago, I started to want more.

I didn't even know what that really meant.

I was restless and felt disconnected from myself. I wasn't satisfied - like a deep internal dissatisfaction. There was some longing from within, but I couldn't put words to it.

I had achieved a lot of success by doing all the “right” things. It felt easy to do what was expected of me. To check the boxes of society's rules for success. I experienced a lot of validation and I was rewarded for my commitment an…

“I have no right to be unhappy, I really have such a great life—so many people in the world are suffering and have much bigger problems than me.”

I used to find myself saying that … and my clients often say it. I learned to start sessions by telling my clients that I know that there are people who have a rougher life than you and that you shouldn’t complain, but this is a space where all of your pain, suffering, and sadness matter.

It’s hard for us to let go of the story we carry that because …

“The masculine is sovereignty, the crown upon your soul. Femininity is humility and unconditional love, the heart within the breast of your soul and together they make the whole soul essence.” St. Germain, Twin Souls & Soulmates

In 2013, I decided to consciously set my intention to deepen my connection to the people in my life. I wanted to more deeply connect with my family and friends, but also I wanted to more easily connect with people who enter my life for even just a moment. I'd spent …

How do kids learn empathy?

I see a lot of parents of young children trying to teach empathy or teach kids to be empathetic by the parent telling their child how their child's behavior impacts them (the parent):

"When you said that, it hurt"
"That hurt my feelings"
"I'm sad that you did that"
"Don't speak to me that way, that's hurtful"
"What you said was mean and unacceptable"

I see how we could get to thinking that this would work. But it won't.

That's not teaching empathy. That's teaching them that th…

We've all heard that we can choose happiness, be positive, and recite positive affirmations and that will make us happier. 

My experience says that this isn't enough. 

I’m not actually down on positivity. I grew up with a super positive mom and in so many ways it served me well. I like that for the most part I find it easy to be positive, happy, smiley, and optimistic (even when I am not feeling it inside).

I thank my mom for that ability. 

When we focus only on our positive traits and have an…

As we do shadow integration work, it's so easy to get stuck when we come upon aspects of self and humanity that can be tough to accept. Sometimes shadow integration can be pretty hardcore, but I invite people to take a more gentle approach to the integration of our shadow, one based on self-love and compassion. 

Here are the 5 Pillars of Gentle Shadow Integration:

Pillar 1: Self-Compassion

I like to think of it like this - how can I blame myself for what my ego did to protect me? How can I bl…

We have connected relationships, thriving families and awesome lives because we love and accept ourselves, not the other way around.

But, when I get started with my clients and they come around to believing that to get what they want, they need to love and accept themselves, they ask me…”okay….so….how do I do that?”

To be completely honest, it's not a "three steps" or "21 day challenge" kind of a thing. It's more like a journey.

So, let's set our GPS to the intersection of self-acceptance ave…